I love You River
I just want to share my story. I grieve with all of you and my heart hurts for all of us.
I had weight loss surgery in November of 2014 to have kids. I was too heavy before and I lost a bunch of weight. Got married in May and by the first week of June I was pregnant. I was so so so excited!
My husband and I had a relatively normal pregnancy until about 18 weeks and 5 days. I found out he was measuring 2 weeks behind. So I went to my regular OB a week later at 19 weeks and 5 days. I found out his heart stopped. I wanted to say goodbye to my son instead of walk around with him inside of me with his heart no longer beating. So I went in that same night to deliver.
It didn't happen as fast as I would like especially since it took almost 2 days to deliver him. He was absolutely beautiful. He looked just like his dad with my nose. I had to say goodbye to my sweet baby boy that I prayed and prayed and prayed for. That was October 9th 2015.
It's been 2 weeks today. The first week was terrible. I was angry, crying, lonely, felt empty. I cried out to God to please give me peace because I wanted to be with my son. That's all I wanted was to be with my son. He finally gave me peace when I had a dream I had a healthy and beautiful little girl. So I finally started to trust in his word. I finally beloved that he has a plan and he wouldn't give me more than I can handle.
I miss my son more than anything in the world. I wish he was here with me but I realize he couldn't be healthy here with me but he is healthy and perfect sitting with Jesus watching over me. I know I will be blessed with another baby when God says I will be. So until that day. I will just trust in him.
Trust in God and he will make all of your dreams come true.
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