Can’t do this anymore

I have PCOS to the point where I have horribly irregular periods, weight problems, and facial hair. I hate what this crap does to my body, especially when it comes to wanting to have a baby. I have been trying off and on for over twelve years. Once with my ex and now with my current bf. It’s not them, it’s me. I can’t have children apparently and I’m tired of trying. I will never know what it feels like to have a human grow inside me. To have the morning sickness, cravings, and bloody aches. I will never know what labor is like or getting up during the night to a crying baby. I see so many posts about babies and I cry. I can’t feel happy for the women in them because I want what they have. I’ve tried clomid, metformin, and now a natural route. Nothing. All I ever wanted was to be a mother. 😭😭😭😭😭