Breastfeeding Troubles

Hi mamas, i feel like i need a little emotional support right now.

So from the beginning, my baby was born a month early and had Jaundice. Because of this (although i had told the doctors and nurses i wanted to breastfeed) they asked if they could give him formula to flush out the Billie Rubin. I agreed, because obviously my main concern is to get baby better. But after he was born and the first “feed” were he latched on perfectly, they never brought him back for another feed on the breast to at least try and help us both adjust to breastfeeding. The entire stay at the hospital (4 days) not once did they try for breastfeeding again and every time they would bring him back in the room after testing he was already fed.

Fast forward 5 weeks, I’ve tried everyday to get him to latch to the breast. I’ve tried bare breast, nipple shields (different kinds), pumping for a minute or two first, and anything else you can think of I’ve tried but nothing works. He will only take a bottle and it’s extremely frustrating.

Another thing was at the hospital not until late in the second day post delivery was when they brought in a pump for me to start pumping which also led to my milk not fully coming in until almost a week postpartum. And til this day I’ve been trying to pump every 3 hours, which isn’t really working out because my husband couldn’t really take time off from work and its like a repeating cycle were i feed the baby a bottle that takes about 45 min, keep him up for 30 to digest properly (because if not he will throw up), change his diaper, try and put him down where he’s comfortable, try to have a snack and drink some water & pump for about 20 min, then its time for him to eat again.

Along with all of this I’ve been struggling to even get 2oz out. Ive tried teas, supplements, cookies, bars, you name it and only twice has anything worked where the most I’ve gotten out was 3.5 oz. which makes me going from bottle to bottle and having to supplement with formula anyways.

Im just getting to a point were I’m extremely frustrated and its making me somewhat depressed because i really wanted to breastfeed my baby and i feel bad stopping and just doing formula because i am producing milk but this routine is just not working for me, especially since I’m doing everything alone most of the day.

If you’re still reading, i appreciate you ❤️

Anyways, my overall point was i feel like i just need help on deciding what i should do because feeding from the breast is definitely not an option anymore. And thinking about stopping all together makes me sad/cry anytime i see anything about breastfeeding.

Should i keep pushing through the exhausting schedule to give my baby the best i can or should i just quit and do formula and have more time to enjoy my baby and not feel overwhelmed but feel guilty for stopping? 😕