I’m at a total loss. Every day I find the motivation and will power to “decide” that today is the day. Today I will quit. I won’t have a single drink. I will go home to my beautiful baby and just be happy and loving and the perfect mama she deserves. And then after a long exhausting day at work I come home to my second job and my husband is more then ready for his “break” after being home only an hour before me, after waking up later then me, after sleeping in every weekend while I get up with our sweet girl and do any and every household task...:I already feel like I’m starting with excuses so I’ll stop there but at some point once im home I find an excuse to have that glass of wine which turns into the whole bottle. I want so badly to stop and focus on bettering myself and getting back to a place where I don’t need alcohol to feel normal...alcoholism runs in my family and in afraid to admit I’m officially there..