Warning: this is somewhat long and I would love some advice or steps on how to improve myself and make myself happier and more confident. Please comment!

So apparently my aunt (who is like a mom to me) my sister and my boyfriend have all said that I need to start not giving a fuck about what people think and to live the way I want and to be happy but idk how to do that. I have had a rough childhood, I learned about the real side of the world at a young age and that has caused me now to have anxiety. I have panic attacks regularly. But the one thing that I don’t understand is, I use to be happy. After I moved into my dads from my moms I was living pretty ok. I started becoming happy again and then junior year hit and I just became this really sad person. My confidence was through the roof and I was happy, I had friends, I was living a pretty good and happy life. And now I’m sad, I’m ugly, I feel like a blob, I feel like I get irritated a lot, I cry often bc of my panic attacks. I’m just not happy. After I graduated high school in May of this year I moved out, I have a roommate, everything is fine with her, I’m getting the bills paid, I love my boyfriend, but I just don’t love myself or the life I’m living. I feel like I’m putting my family down because I’m not going to college and I think that’s because I’d be the first one to go and actually do something with my life. I’m just not a happy person. I want to be glowing, I want confidence, I want to love myself, I want to stop being sad. I just don’t know what to do. So if you have read this far, thank you!!! I appreciate you! Please comment down below anything you’d like but I just need advice or some steps on how to start loving myself again and how to not give a fuck what people think and to be happy. It’s a big problem for me and I just don’t know what to do anymore.