I tried for 9 months through many battles and appointments to get pregnant. It is my third and final. And i was elated when it seemed like it was going to work out, but then I disconnected. I couldnt see this baby fitting my family and making things happy.

I started bleeding, and felt relief like, this isnt going to work out. Relief! I felt horrible for being happy.

So I go for my checkup and the doctor says she is 97% sure it was one off and I am going to have a baby in July. I got to my car and bawled. And realized all these visions of holding this baby, meeting its siblings, breastfeeding, being a family all the things I hadnt been able to see were there.

I LOVE THIS BABY. I was so sure and afraid that it wasnt going to work out that I had just prepared that it wasnt real. I had decided to have no connection to protect me. But hearing those words made it all ok. Made me ok. I feel so blessed that I saw a different doc that knew what I needed. It was a gift from god.