The reason I am posting this here is because I currently have no one else to turn to for advice. Before you suggest a mental health professional, I am waiting for my insurance to start.

I don’t deal with my anger. I don’t know how to deal with it in a healthy way so I ignore it. It ends up coming out in small comments/arguments with my husband. When it builds too much, I start having panic attacks. I’ve been having them now at least once a week and they’re getting worse each time.

So, how do you guys deal with anger in a healthy way?

Also, talking about the problem helps sometimes so here’s that:

I’m heartbroken about where we live. I’m slowly starting to like it in this town, but it’s taking a while. Our town is 3-4,000 people. We’re 5 hours away from anything that is a basic city thing. Walmart, Target, Starbucks, decent hospital...

This makes me sad because I can’t do all the things with my little family that I grew up doing. No zoo trips, no day trips, no mall shopping, my baby girl can’t even take a dance class anywhere if she wanted to!

And date nights? They don’t happen because my husband doesn’t want to go anywhere in this town. He says he loves it here, but he doesn’t like being around people so if we went somewhere, we’d run into someone. But he also doesn’t want to be a nobody in a big city and ugh it’s frustrating.

He’s content going to work, coming home, watching tv, going to sleep. And I’m fine with that during the week but on the weekends, I’d like to get out of the dang house!!

Now that I’m working, I hear about people driving to the city, going bowling, different events around town, going to the movies, etc.

I also work with a lot of people who have winter homes in the city I grew up in. Or people who visit often. And every time I hear about it, I get a perfect visual of all the things I used to love. My favorite shopping mall, my old 2 hour long rush hour commute, driving up to the mountains, etc.

I grew up watching my mom stay home on the sofa watching tv. 24/7 she never left the sofa. It was always a big deal when she went out of the house for something other than a doctor appointment. I promised myself I’d have a life of adventure, even if that adventure was going to the grocery store at an odd time and having fun with it. A walk somewhere would have been an adventure.

My husband realized last night he needs to get out of his comfort zone and start doing these things with me. And he got angry about it. I don’t know what to do.

Any advice is appreciated. Sorry, didn’t think this would be so long!!