SIL issues...

So, I have a pretty bad SIL. Little back story...My brother and her started dating in high school. We'll call her K. So, they've known each other for about 10-11 years. They were on and off for about the first 5 years. They'd date a year, then break up, see other people, then they'd eventually break up with those people, then get back together. During that first 5 years, I didn't think she was that bad, but I didn't really hang out with her much back then.

Then, about 5 or 6 years ago, they got back together. My brother bought a house(in his name) and K moved in with him. I started seeing her a little more and getting to know her. That's when my family and I discovered how rude and disrespectful she is. K would come over to our house or we would go over to their house and she always had a nasty look on her face, didn't want to talk to us, acted like she didn't want us there, then she'd go in another room and pout if she didn't get her way. She'd even start fights with my brother in front of everyone, over petty things. Like, if my brother didn't start the grill right then and there(it was raining btw). She hated when she didn't get her way.

Since she was now living with my brother, she would of course come to our Christmas get togethers. We always go to a family members for Christmas, which is in another state. She would come and of course didn't care for the way we did things. She didn't want to spend time with anyone. Always shut herself off in a room somewhere. We play board games and she acted like a bitch during those. Even told my cousin to shut up in his own house. Then we of course exchange gifts on Christmas day. She didn't get me a thing. Not one thing. I bought her stuff, she got my parents and my brother things, but nothing for me. This has gone on for several Christmases. She doesn't get me anything. I feel like it's a dig at me. I have no clue why. I've always tried to be nice, always got her things. I even bought her lots of things for christmas. I spent a good amount of money on her every year, thinking that maybe things have changed and she'll get me a little something. I tried to be the better person. But, still, I got nothing. After we got done opening presents, she would even go change her clothes and wear something that I bought her. Like, throw it in my face that she didn't get me a thing, but I get her nice clothing.

So, K and my brother had a baby a couple years ago. My mom and I go see them in the hospital. She acts completely rude. Barely speaks to us, acts like she doesn't want us there, and would barely let us look at the baby(we didn't ask to hold the baby)and I touched the baby's hand and she rudely said "you better not touch my baby without washing your hands(I get it, so i washed my hands). But K's brother walks in and she acts like a totally different person. She got worse after their baby was born. She had PPD, which she got treated for. It's been two years, she's on medication for anxiety, but she's still bad. No one in my family can play with the child(he's about 2 and 1/2 years old). She hovers over him 24/7. She'll get mad over absolutely nothing. When a family member is trying to play with him, she's literally right there trying to control it all. She doesn't want anyone else to bond with him. She's very jealous.

I had a baby a year ago. She wouldn't come to the hospital and see her, didn't even text me congratulations, but when Christmas came a few days later, they all come over(she of course had a nasty look and didn't want to be there) she wanted to hold my baby. And, no, she didn't wash her hands. Like I said, she's a jealous person. She originally wanted a girl, but had a boy and I had a girl. I had sent a group message to all my family when I had the 20 week ultrasound that revealed the gender, K was included in the group chat. I texted a picture and said it's a girl. Everyone congratulated me, except her. She said nothing.

This year, things got worse with her. Shes tried to divorce my brother several times this year(they got married before their baby was born). But then she found out she was only going to be getting money from him based on a 40 hour check and nothing more. Her dad also had a talk with her and told her that it's not just about her anymore and to stop only thinking of herself. Her own parents even know how bad she is. She also has a SIL who's family refuses to come around if they know K is going to be there. So, she changed her mind and stayed with my brother. My brother works 60+ hours a week. Gives K $600 a week. He pays a majority of the bill's. The only thing she pays for is her car and the side by side. She started a fight with my brother in front of everyone at one of our get togethers, and my aunt finally got tired of hearing K treat my brother this way, so she finally said something to her and K left the home and went to another family members house and shut herself in a room with my nephew.

I've tried including in her stuff. I've tried to be nice. I got married last year and I even asked her to help with a couple things on the wedding day. When I asked her, she said "I politely decline". It was very rude actually.

My child just had her 1st birthday. Now, I've been to both of my nephews birthday parties. I, of course, got him gifts. K didn't come to my child's birthday party and didn't get her a gift. Didn't even send a text and say Happy Birthday to her. Nothing. K decided to go to a play instead. A play that's been playing every night since December 7. My brother and nephew came. My brother sent me a gift card after the party.

She's been so awful to my family and I, that I've decided not to get her anything for Christmas this year. I had bought her things for this Christmas, but her not coming to my child's party and not even thinking of her, that was the last straw for me. I've decided to return what I bought for her.

But, I really do have a big heart. So, I'm starting to wonder if I'm being too harsh?