Do you encourage/make your kids kiss/hug relatives if they don’t want to? Why or why not?

Question

It’s really irritating me that my family (mom, sisters/brother, MIL) tells my baby that she HAS to hug/give them kisses! And when she tell them no they tell her that she’s bad or mean or say something negative about it! I don’t feel like she has to do either nor am i going to force her to! If no means no then it means no matter who the hell it is!

Answer

It is important to me that my child knows that she is in control of her body. A person can be polite, loving, and grateful without physically hugging or kissing someone.

Answer

My parents never forced us to give affection but we did have to be respectful! Ex: say hello/goodbye, thank you etc. the worst my mom would ask for us to give someone was a high five to show appreciation!

Answer

I've never understood why people push affection like that. I ask all my nieces and nephews (the youngest is 2) if I can have hug hi or bye. If they say no I say "that's ok I still love you! How about a wave?" And that usually gets a smile. If they say yes they get the biggest auntie hugs ever!

Answer

Absolutely not. I was EXTREMELY shy as a kid, and if someone forced me to hug or kiss a relative (even one I knew/ I was that shy) I would break out crying hysterically. My parents never pushed me which I’m thankful for, but other people tried to tell my parents it wasn’t right. I have nieces and nephews who are going through or went through a shy stage and I never press them for hugs or kisses. When they are comfortable, they will, or they won’t and that’s fine. Forcing a child to hug or kiss when they aren’t comfortable can be damaging and so dangerous in other ways.

Answer

I don’t feel like my baby has to please people by doing things like that. I would hate to be forced to put my lips on someone I don’t want to put it on. Luckily my family just gets the hint if she doesn’t go to them or squirms to get away.

Answer

No absolutely not, and I have called out and b*tched out family who attempted to shame my child for it. You can't teach your child about body awareness, that they have the right to say No to inappropriate touching, and then force them to touch people they don't want to.

Answer

Nope! I wasn't forced to and my kids won't be forced to either. It isn't mandatory, they just better be glad we showed up 😂

Answer

Sadly, my family will pull that shit when my daughter is older too. She's only 6 months now, but when he's older she can decide. I'm not a hugger. She will be taught to acknowledge everyone in the room, but she won't be forced to touch them or kiss them.

Answer

No. I ask my 3 year old if she wants to give grandma a kiss goodbye and she ll run over to her and give her a kiss. But when she was younger there were times she didn’t want to. Luckily my family is pretty easy going and they’re like no oh ok maybe next time 
I won’t ever force either of my kids to give hugs and kisses to anyone

Answer

My dad used to make me hug and kiss my mom every night until I moved out. She was a total abusive hag that I wanted nothing to do with.
I will never make my daughter have contact with someone she doesnt want contact with. She has the right to say no and have that respected. The fact that people disrespect that right because it's a child bothers me.

Do you encourage/make your kids kiss/hug relatives if they don’t want to? Why or why not?

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