Hey ladies,

I could use some help or encouragement. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years. He’s the man I want to marry. We are long distance. As of right now I’m in California, he is on the east coast.

I miss him so much and want to go for a visit but he keeps telling me no and that he already has plans to come see me soon. Things always seem to fall through, life has been really messy for him and his depression gets the better of him.

He’s getting really close with new friends and his family. I feel a bit left out, because he doesn’t make much time to talk to me lately. I’m really trying to be supportive and I want him to have good relationships in his life. But for the last 2 year’s, we’ve really just had each other.

He and his family are Jewish. I’m Christian. It comes up all the time that his parents pressure him for a traditional arranged marriage with another Jewish girl. Honestly, it really hurts. I can’t change their traditions and values, but hearing about it constantly really stings. I love his family and want to be loved back. I work really hard at learning about his culture and religion because I care about what he values. But I still feel like such an outsider.

He’s currently in school, and lives in a co-Ed housing. He is getting really close to his roommate, who happens to be a girl. And she’s also Jewish. His mom invites her home for holidays and weekends all the time. I’m trying not to overthink everything, but the insecurities are just building up. I’m not as worried that he will cheat, what’s hard is feeling jealous for his time. Everyone else gets to touch him, hang out with him, see him everyday, cook for him...and I don’t get let into that space. They get the time with him that I so badly want.

I try talking to him about my feelings in a really honoring way; I never accuse and I realize I may be overthinking everything.

But lately, I feel like he’s slipping away from me. My heart hurts.

Does anyone have any tips or advice? I just need a friend.

I want this to work out. I want us to last.