So my boyfriend (on and off very complicated relationship) and I have been together for 3 years, on top of being very close, if not best friends for 6 years before that. When we got together everything kind of clicked for me. I was and still am absolutely sure that he is THE one. To make things a little more complicated, he has ptsd from being repeatedly molested my a family member as a child, and paranioa (an extremely hard time trusting others). I am bipolar, suffer from chronic, major depression, and ocd, and am a successfully recovering compulsive liar. In the beginning of our relationship, it was all beautiful and for once, I was someone he trusted fully. However, I was masking my own problems with my mental issues and self hatred from my past, and said a lot of things I didn't mean to in order "safe guard" myself, which looking back, makes no sense at all. We broke up a year later for around 6-7months, and while we were broken up, I was pregnant and dealing with an abortion all on my own. He cut off all ties with me and I felt extreme resentment for it and wished I could hate him for leaving me alone through something that was so traumatic for me. (I have always been the type of person who has said children are miracles and I'd personally always take a pregnancy as a blessing, however my financial and mental stability situation would cause me to raise a child through a terrible life). And so, I made it my sole motivation to find someone else and completely forget about him. We got back together 6 months later and he asked me if I had slept with anyone else. I lied and said I never had. For months, I lied. I finally came clean (and honestly it was after a lot of prodding from him) and he couldn't trust me anymore. I lied because I was scared he'd leave me for it, because he wouldn't understand that I felt that it was an emergency for me to move on because of the pain of what he had left me alone with. and because I was ashamed of sleeping with people I didn't have feelings for just to move on. I was scared it would cause a past I regretted to follow me into my future, with him, but by lying I actually caused that past to follow me. Now he doesn't trust me and constantly thinks I'm cheating of playing games with him. I actually love him so much and I believe he is my soulmate. I have never cheated and I don't believe in cheating and never would. We are having so many problems and he's becoming more and more distant from me because of his paranioa. I don't know what to do. But I will do whatever it takes to help this situation and for him to see how much I love him and him only. Please, any advice would be so greatly appreciated .