I can’t seem to control my anxiety after the shady Christmas we just had, so I’m hoping a rant will help.

I’m feeling so upset and overwhelmed. I’m beyond worried about how everything will go down when baby arrives. I’m 32 weeks pregnant and me and my OH have been together for 10 years.

I’ve never had the best relationship with my in laws but since ttc and falling pregnant, it has been my number one goal to improve ALL my family relationships. I don’t have the best relationship with my own mother but this year she threw a big Christmas and it was important to her that me and my OH went, so we did. I want to rise above other people’s negativity so I can know I’ve done my best.

Everyone knew the plan. I made sure the in laws knew we wouldn’t be hosting dinner at ours this year and didn’t want them feeling left out so I planned to see them Christmas Day as well. We also also host for them on Boxing Day but they didn’t show up. (Waste of lots of party food there)

Anyway, Christmas morning I did a lovely buffet breakfast and set everything up all special, got them all their favourite foods etc and laid it all out. They couldn’t give a time they would arrive so it was hard to plan but when they did rock up at 11, it was all ready. We were really excited. I love Christmas!

After a few nasty comments including how wide I’ve gotten and how hard I’ll have to work to lose the weight (I’m pretty slim btw but it really upset me) and other comments and just bad attitude I got fed up and went to my room to get ready for the evening at my mums.

I had a little cry on my own, frustrated with them, feeling self conscious along with the normal pregnancy symptoms, tbh I felt like shit.

Anyway, I sorted myself out and put my big girl panties on and enjoyed the rest of the day the best I could.

But now I feel myself losing patience. Why should I keep being so polite when they are all so shitty? I don’t want to play the pregnancy card but COME ON I need peace these next few weeks! I am dreading how I will cope after birth and I don’t know I can keep smiling through the nastiness.

Rant over but any advice or shared experience would be great for my insomnia right now.