Is it wrong that I feel a little jealous

My best friend wants me to help her plan her baby shower I love her dearly we’ve been friends since high school and I’ve always been there for her even when she’s put me in danger or has stolen Men I was interested inI’ve been there for It all… I really want to help her with This being her first child .. I feel like it’s kind a hard for me to pull myself away from it emotionally… Don’t get me wrong I am very happy for her but in a lot of ways I feel like her pregnancy has been thrown in my face in the beginning she didn’t want her baby She told me I could have it that she wasn’t ready for a child and that she didn’t care as long as she got paid from the father For the duration of the pregnancy I was already setting up A place for her and her unborn child to stay since I had to move due to a change in my husbands duty station… I’ve really been wanting to have a baby And now my best friend wants me to fly literally across the state throw her a baby shower and then fly back again to be there when she has her baby… I commend her for deciding to keep her child but it’s hard every day to think wow that little boy or girl could have been mine and then every time we talk on the phone or on FaceTime she’s always putting her bump in the camera honestly I’m a little hurt And a bit angry that she let me think that I was going to be a parent for three months Then up and changed her mindAnd I want to be supportive and happy for her but It’s hard when your plate is empty and someone is constantly throwing their cake in your face… I love my best friend like she’s my sister and I’ll do anything for her I’m just finding it really hard that I can keep being there for her through the other half of this pregnancy.