It was a really nice thing to be asked

Today a new mom asked me “How are you doing with the whole mom life thing?”

It was a really nice question to be asked. I responded to her:

It’s been my biggest challenge but my greatest blessing. I’ve learned to trust my gut. Not read too much into blogs and forums. Soak up the time when they are little because they grow so fast. So much of the “hard times” and sleepless nights are just temporary. “This too shall pass” is what I play on repeat in my head. I’m reminded to slow down, be present, and let him be little. Hold him when he cries, play with him after a long day of work, swoop him up “just because”, and rock him to sleep if that’s what he needs. Because sooner or later he won’t need me and it’ll be without notice. Just on Friday, Lincoln completely weened without any notice. Broke my little heart and made me want time just to slow down a little bit more. That was such a special bond that I was able to have with him and have it for almost nine months. But now that time will just be a memory. I wish I would have just been more patient when I would get tired and restless when he was cluster feeding- knowing how sad I would feel when he no longer needed that part of me.

Being a mom isn’t easy. I’m sure everyone has said that. There isn’t a manual- the closest thing I’ve got to that is Dr. Spock (that book is amazing!). Internet is a love/hate thing that can put anyone in panic within a split second depending on where your googling takes you. There are a massive amount of “mom-influencers”, picture perfect families, and moms with incredible bodies that are constantly popping up in my feed which for me, makes me have unrealistic expectations when it comes to this new mom adventure. I had this idea I’d bounce back- have a killer body by nine months, lost an awesome “nine months in and nine months out photo, and be cooking Martha Stewart meals nightly for my family all while keeping a kept house. Man, I wish! It’s tougher than I thought. Having only taken 8 weeks (which was all accumulated sick time) jumping back into work last May, working full time, and co-managing our household- it’s hard to find that self-care time. I’m just now finding the motivation and drive to get into the gym consistently, meal prep and plan for the house, and do those self care things. This is far from what I imagined but I am slowly accepting the new “normal”, the 7 day-a-week messy bun look, and taking time out for myself.

Tomorrow, Lincoln will be nine months old. Nine months on this earth but really we’ve known each other for 18 months. The first nine I got him all to myself- priceless. This second nine he has been here for everyone else to love on, and watch him grow into the person who he will become. And that too is priceless.

So to my friend, thank you for asking how I was. I’m doing ok.