Babies and pregnancy

Lauren • Vegan, animal lover, student :)
Bit of a weird one but I'm 18, and I'm completely baby obsessed. 
When I was 16 I was told I was infertitile an would not be able I conceive naturally. I was also told that if I was lucky and DID get pregnant, ten it would more than likely be ectopic and require abortion or surgery. 
At the beginning of this year (I'm now 18) , I suffered a miscarriage at 8 weeks. I hadn't even known I was pregnant.
This hit me unbelievably hard and since then I've not been able to really be around babies without getting attached or teary. I just think about how I could have a 1 month old now.
I know how rhidiulous this probably sounds but the thought of having a child is the only thing that seems to keep me going lately. 
Am I going completely mad :(