I'm having one of those days. One of those days where I feel like everything and everyone is against me. I'm starting to resent my boyfriend coming home to me because I know that he does not actually care that I'm there waiting for him. I feel like I try so hard to be engaged with my friends and family's life, and they show no interest in mine in return. There is only so many times people can answer the phone just to tell you they are busy and can't talk. And only so many times people just do not answer your call whatsoever. You sit and wait for them to call back, but guess what, they don't. I then begin to question if something is wrong with me. I know there is not, but when it happens repeatedly you cannot help like it's something you're doing wrong. Why does it feel like I am losing touch with everyone, but I'm not doing anything wrong? Is it me? Or is it all of you? Are you all so self absorbed like everyone else these days that you don't stop to think how your actions affect others? I don't know.... but I wish I did.

I feel like I'm trying so hard to be the picture perfect girlfriend. Prove to you that I am wife material and that I'll take care of you. I cook for you, clean for you, listen to you when you rant, listen to you about your dreams and the things you aspire to do in life. All I hope is for you and I to feel connected on a level where we are totally comfortable around each other and a level where we DESIRE to know more about each other. It seems like since we moved in together you have no interest in me anymore. You asked me how my day was today, I know you only did it because you realized you were only talking about yourself up until that point. You didn't ask because you genuinely cared if my day was alright. What went wrong...

It feels like my world is caving in.