My son just turned 3 on the 20th. He has ALWAYS been super snuggly, and I NEVER have been, since infancy apparently. I’ve been able to manage fine up until more recently, when I was pregnant with my second. My second is 3 months now. I get SO angry when my 3year old gets so touchy/lovey because he is so pushy. he grabs my arm and demands it and pulls at me even if I’m laying next to him trying to nurse his brother, or will demand I “open” so that he can stick his legs between my thighs, and he kisses me sloppy kisses all over. I love his kisses. I love his snuggles. I know I sound like an ungrateful asshat complaining about these things, but it’s just a bit much. I feel like it’s a combination of pure sensory overload, but part of me feels like part of it might be because his dad raped me. But then the other hand I always got unreasonably agitated when anyone tried to snuggle me and I didn’t want to. These tendencies are triggering to me and that’s NOTHING to do with him. I know they are purely intended but I feel even more pressured to be STRICT on bodily consent. Especially in this day and age in general. Or maybe it’s just purely how some can be at this age?. I’ve started being so sensitive to it and I feel like I am withholding affection and it kills me. I’ll say things like “this is MY body I will tell you when it’s okay to snuggle and when it’s not” and walk away for a minute to cool off. I always come back usually before he has fallen asleep and say “sorry mommy got upset you just need to ask before because sometimes I can’t snuggle right away but will when I can.”

I just feel like I’m at a loss and don’t want him to change because I shut down that lovey side of him.