Okay so here’s the skinny. My 11 year old (who does have developmental disorder, is socially handicapped and has adhd) is refusing to sleep in her room. She says she sees a monster in her room and every time she closes her eyes and reopens them it’s closer. Doesn’t matter if she has a nightlight, lamp, or the overhead light on she says she can still see. In addition to the monster she says she can her the tick tock of a clock even though there are none close to her room.

Another important thing to consider is she’s a creature of habit. Her routines are really important to her. She’s gotten a lot better about being able to deviate from her routine, but sometimes she still struggles. In the last year she’s seen the changes: her baby brother was born, she’s going to a smaller more hands on school, she got a kids tablet for Christmas (locked down like Knox so she can’t see or do anything bad), our basset hound had to start wearing a bell so we can listen for when he wanders off (follows his nose to parts unknown and has no idea how to get home). Nothing else has really changed.

Now the run down. She knows the difference between a bell and a clock. The bell actually helps because the basset likes to ‘knock’ on the mud room door so when the bell sounds she knows it’s just him and doesn’t get scared. She loves her baby brother and takes a very active roll in his care and is very protective of him. The school we have struggled with the transition to some degree. Mostly having trouble forming friendships and practicing appropriate social behavior and respecting others personal space.

What we’ve done. We have put a lamp and a night light in her room. We go and tuck her in and show her that it’s okay. She’s not allowed to watch any scary shows or movies. The only time she’s not with me is when she’s at school or with her stepdad (who I of course trust). We talk about our imaginations going on wild forays and how important it is to think happy thoughts before she goes to bed and while she’s falling asleep.

I don’t think ‘monster spray’ would work not only is she too old she’s too smart. For now she’s sleeping on the couch where she feels safe. And I’m not going to push her to sleep in her room if I can tell that she’s genuinely scared and not just wanting to sleep on the couch because she does really like it.