Are abusive BDSM relationships common?

You realise BDSM goes a lot deeper than that right? A true BDSM dom does not 'beat' their intimate partner black or blue, their art is not abusive, it is sexual and empowering for both members. There are safe words that are used whenever the sub needs to be released from a situation and after the sex there is a period of sub care where the dom will cuddle and care for the sub, give them hot drinks and snacks and ensure they know they are loved and cared for. If the safe words don't exist and the aftercare isn' performed then then it isn't BDSM it is abuse.

Hm I think that’s just being abusive. The thing about bdsm is consent and trust. Not beating someone’s ass.

BDSM is so much more than sex, and if you’re truly in the lifestyle you vet your partner before allowing anything and safe words always mean stop, and a true dom adheres to that. There are fake Doms as much as there are fake subs, the whole theory behind BDSM is safe/sane/consensual. It’s so much more than someone beating my ass. I’m a masochist (I need pain to get off) and I am in a relationship with a sadist, someone who needs to inflict pain. It’s sort of an art depending on your views, I enjoy seeing the marks on my body, but there is always aftercare with sub and Dom drop, you’re very well taken care of and the person you choose you know is there to help look out for your best interests and guide you through life. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s totally understandable. But a REAL BDSM relationship is not abuse and most of us have contracts and plans in place of what we will and won’t do. 50 shades of grey is rape and glorified because he’s rich, and a lot of these people who read it think they know BDSM. It takes training, learning, and a lot of understanding. A REAL BDSM relationship is not abuse, I know plenty in them because that’s the group I choose to associate with. Fake Doms and subs are everywhere though giving us a bad name 🤷🏼‍♀️. But a true relationship is vetted and written out “set in stone” so to speak. It’s just different from the average.

In my experience, people who abuse others don’t want consent in any way. They want to abuse people against their will in order to exert dominance over the other person

I’m not a participant in it but this is kind of a close minded view of a much wider picture. Relationships like this work because there is mutual trust. I’m sure once in while someone abuses the system as there are always those who will. However, I don’t think it’s the norm or common. The submissives enjoy the treatment and if the doms get off on it because they secretly want to hurt them...it’s a consensual power play and neither are doing anything wrong. If they were with someone they were getting bad vibes from or if they weren’t treated right (like a dom ignoring safe words) you’re still crossing that line into possible rape and/or sexual assault. Sexual predators can be in any type of sexual relationship.

BDSM is controlled, consensual, and safe. In BDSM relationships, the sub has complete power and control over the situation. They have discussed their limits, hard-stops, hard-no’s, and wants/desires thoroughly beforehand, and they have practiced using their safe word. The dom only operates in the space which the sub has dictated is acceptable, and only pushes their sub as far as they know they can handle.