Long story short: my marriage didn’t work out. He didn’t treat me the best in the last year of our marriage. However, I knew he’s a good person, just not good for me. We had a smooth divorce and at the time, I didn’t have the finances to go through changing my name again, nor did I care to. I knew that I’m going to remarry once I meet “the right one”—it just wouldn’t permanently be my ex’s last name.

Fast forward a year and a half later (literally just celebrated my one year anniversary with my boyfriend today)— he tells me that it’s “weird” that I didn’t change my name back and “everyone says it’s not normal/it’s not right to keep his last name...what would people think if/when we got married... on the invites and saying the vows, people would ask where did your last name come from” and so on.

First, I just hate that generalization— the girl he slept with and lied about right before me was also divorced and kept her ex’s last name. Second, he kept hounding me and tearing me down out of the blue, literally as we finished our anniversary dinner. He didn’t even stop after I said “I hear and respect your opinion, it’s just what I decided to do and I don’t see the big deal in it if it’s going to change.” Third, he said “I take pride in my last name, if I were in your shoes, I’d change it back because of that.” —when I got married, I moved my maiden name to my middle name literally for that purpose. Fourth, he said “when my mom got divorced, she changed her name back.” And “all my friends moms that got divorced did that”—not addressing that it’s a different generation.

I guess my question is, would you keep the last name knowing it’d change? Or would you change it back to your maiden name and then again when you remarried?