Hard to connect...Im horrible

I So horrible because I'm struggling to connect to this pregnancy. I suffered so many losses I went to specialists I did tremendous work to achieve this pregnancy. But with my other 2 I spent so much time touching my stomach and Dreaming and planning. Now this time I'm chasing around my one year old and trying to be there for my 10 year old and working I almost forget that I'm pregnant. I don't know if I'm struggling because I'm afraid it's not going to work out even though I've been told 97% chance it's going to. Or maybe I'm struggling because my husband's job is so demanding that often I am a single parent and I didn't expect that. Either way I feel really horrible and I'm really hoping that once the baby is active I start to connect. Has anyone else felt this way and gone on to connect.