why does it take me so long?

alexis

(rape tw) okay so my boyfriend used to be able to make me cum fairly quickly, and its always by eating me out. i have never found fingering enjoyable, let alone enough to orgasm on. (i have a feeling this is bc i was raped when i was little and the rapist inserted his fingers into me so maybe my instincts kick in to associate bad things w that, idk.) lately though, we’ve been able to see each other more often and thus have more sex and that’s great n all but it’s now taking me 25+ mins just to orgasm, and i feel like my clit has become desensitized to it (?) and eventually i either just give up, ask him to fuck me, and end up not enjoying it bc i’m not wet enough bc no cum so it hurts, or i start getting upset that i feel like i’m boring him. either way the sex is ruined, and now my sex drive has decreased bc i know it’s gonna go badly. any advice?