Please help: What do I do?? Am I not good enough?

Question

So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years.
Recently some of our friends got engaged, and it really brought forth many emotions on my side.
Since we’ve been dating, 6 of our friends got engaged/married, many of which have been together for an average of 2 years (way less than us).
So my problem comes in with the following - marriage feels like a very taboo topic in our relationship, we barely talk about it, and now that more of our friends got engaged, it made me wonder if we’re ever gonna get there? I’m starting to doubt if he even sees me as his future wife. I don’t want to date someone, only to find out that they don’t want to get married to me? Then I basically wasted 4 years of my life committing to someone who can’t commit to me?
I honestly thought we were in a great place and that we were very happy, but now it just feels like we’re never gonna move forward, or that maybe he’s doubting if he wants to spend the rest of his life with me..
It’s not something I can easily talk to him about, which is my biggest issue. I honestly don’t know what to do? I tried to just leave it, but honestly it’s eating me up inside.. am I not good enough??

Answer

Not being able to talk about things is an issue in itself. Communication is key. 
My situation was a little different because when I met my husband, he told me by our second date he was in the process of a divorce. I was hesitant as this sometimes is a red flag. But he said I could ask whatever I wanted, and I did. When he told me I had to questions 1) did he have any children? As I was not cut out for the step mom role (props to those that do!) 2) would he get married again? And he said yes, they never should have gotten married in the first place. 
At a year mark he asked me to move in. He wanted to buy a house and I said no absolutely not until I had a ring on my finger and a promise or marriage. I saw too many friends make this mistake and then always a reason why buying a ring wasn’t the right time. He proposed just shy of 2 years and we married 11 months later. 
You have to be able to communicate and know if you are on the same page with many of life’s events/issues

Answer

All you can do is talk to him.  It’s a scary conversation to have especially if you don’t know how he feels, but if you can’t communicate, marriage would be very difficult indeed anyway.  Good luck!!

Answer

I wouldn't compare yourself to others, personally I don't think 2 years is that long. 
Still though - the only way to find out what's happening is to talk about it with  him. Maybe write down what you want to say?

Answer

Just because he hasn't popped the question doesn't mean you're not good enough. Some people like to wait longer before they get married. Have you ever talked about it before? Marriage is such a big step to take and he probably wants to be sure. Hell, maybe he's happy in a civil partnership. You just got to talk to him. If you hold it in you'll eventually lose your temper and it won't be pretty. But don't say anything about not being good enough. Statements like that won't work in your favor. Not in this case.

Answer

I get the idea of not wanting to waste your tune with someone who doesn’t want to marry you but if you just talk about it then you will know. My husband and I were together for 10 years before we got married, I just thought of marriage as a piece of paper, I was gonna spend the rest of my life with this man married or not.

Answer

Maybe he’s not good enough for you? You should be able to talk about things like this. You should be able to at least tell him that you do want marriage in your future and see if you are on the same page about it. And if you feel like you’re being strung along, you can definitely leave at any time.

Answer

This is something that should have been talked about in the beginning. What if he doesn't want to getarried? Some people are against it regardless of who they're with. And you can't compare your relationship to others. Maybe he's not ready for marriage, you can't rush him unless you want to risk the entire relationship. My brother in law refused to propose until a solid 5 years of dating because she needed to be sure it was a good relationship. 
My boyfriend and I have been together almost 4 years and I'm not expecting a ring anytime soon. We're in a good place but we weren't for a long time. He's not ready for marriage and neither am I. We will be and I have no doubt that we'll get there when we're ready.
Marriage is not something you want to rush. The divorce rate is so high for a reason. People marry when they're not ready and it shows. Just because YOU are ready doesn't mean he is. And he may not even want to get married at all. You should've discussed it in the beginning

Answer

Don’t compare to other couples, each relationship is different and each relationship works for each couple. But if you’re really that worried then you need to sit down and have a serious conversation with him no matter how hard it is. That way you know one way or another. But it needs to be done.

Answer

Definitely talk to him about it! This talk should have already happened....You need to know if you both are on the same page so that no ones time is wasted.

Answer

Well if neither of you are bringing it up then maybe both of you feel the same way. One of you need to step up and ask about what your future holds.

Please help: What do I do?? Am I not good enough?

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