Team Green?!

Question

My husband and I are pregnant with our second rainbow baby! our first was a boy and We found out as soon as we could what we were having the first time around. Now we’ve chosen to not find out until birth what we’re having and I’m kind of having a hard time connecting to the baby. Is that normal?! I’m worried I won’t have the same connection I had with my first because I cantcall them by the right name or buy appropriate fun baby things. Lol

Answer

We didn’t find out with our first. And thinking back I guess I remember that feeling. I think I connected but we just didn’t know what to call him, so I just called him baby. I knew I was growing life inside me and I loved hearing his heartbeat and feeling movement inside me. So to me that was enough. 
With this one we found out. I had a miscarriage back in August and I wanted to know what this baby was just in case something bad happens, I don’t want to wonder what the baby was again. Also we did a gender reveal, that way we got the best of both worlds
Finding out at birth is AWESOME, some family members were rude about it and not on board but I didn’t let that ruin our choice. I tell people all the time finding out at birth is the coolest feeling in the world and i’m glad I got to experience that. We inspired 2 other couples to do the same for their next so I thought that was kind of cool. I get excited when mamas say they’re finding out at birth!

Answer

This is my first, and I'm waiting to do a gender reveal but I don't feel as connected to my baby as I want to. I only got to see my baby at 8 weeks and won't get to see he/she again until 18 weeks and I think that's what's bothering me plus my 8 week US was really fast.  I didn't get a 12 week scan like everyone else. I'm really wanting to pay for a private scan cause I think it will give me some kind of relief. Plus it's been so smooth so far. I don't think the gender is the reason I feel this way. 😩

Answer

Many women experience a bit of difficulty connecting to their second child in pregnancy compared to first. It is mainly a difference of perspective and perception, you most likely will have absolutely no problem bonding if you had no problems with the first. Be patient and explain to yourself that you are just waiting for the arrival before you can fully and absolutely fall in love. And until then, you are expecting with care and happiness, right?

Answer

Thank you everyone for your responses! I’m hoping that maybe hearing the heartbeat for the first time and maybe looking into more gender neutral nursery themes will get me excited! My first was a rainbow baby and we just went all out with everything and I guess it just feels different because we’re doing things so different! Lol. I’m so excited for July so I can find out what this sweet babe is! I’ve heard so many people say how amazing it is to wait and I’m excited!

Answer

We were team green with our first (a girl!) and I didn’t feel connected until I could feel her move, so I totally get it. We’re having twins this time and not finding out again. I love the surprise, it’s the best!

Answer

This is our first, but we’re also waiting! It’s our rainbow baby as well so I am feeling particularly protective. I think that’s maybe why the distance? Family and very close friends know, but we’re not publicly announcing for another few weeks even though I’m just in the second trimester. I’m just cautious. I talk a lot about it with my fiancé and that helps. Everything is going well, and with every ultrasound, I feel more confident. 
A huge reason why we want to wait is so we don’t get all the gender-color things. There’s a lot of pressure on us to have a baby girl, and it’s just freaked me out for so long that we’ve decided to just not know and be happy with whatever happens. A healthy baby is the priority and all that matters. I know a lot of people choose to not know for different reasons. We just call baby “Babe” and are so happy all is well. I’m having so much fun exploring ways to make the nursery neutral and picking a theme that can work for both and that suits us. It’s been fun and helping me connect and feel more comfortable about this pregnancy.

Answer

I’m going through the same thing!!! We found out right away with our first (a girl) and I remember feeling so much more connected after finding out. This time we want to be team green (it’s our rainbow baby), but I’m worried that’s why I’m feeling a distance. I’m only 12 weeks, but I don’t really talk to the baby or feel particularly connected in any way. It’s making me feel sad and guilty. Not sure if it’s because it’s my rainbow baby and I’m protecting myself or if it’s because we don’t know the gender.

Team Green?!

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