I miss the bond I had with my mom. š„
Hi. I donāt know where to post this. Iām 14 years old. This might get a little long but I donāt have anyone to talk to. Iām sorry.. I seriously think my mom hates me. Like actually. Her and I used to be close. My dad and her divorced (my dad was sentenced life in prison about 6-7 months later). My dad and I were inseparable so it took a pretty big toll on me. She had a boyfriend and got pretty serious with him. I didnāt really like him, but his daughter and I became like best friends so I tolerated him and basically told my mom I approved of their relationship. My mom got pregnant with my brother who is now a year and a half. I love him so much. But, when she was about 6 months pregnant her and her boyfriend split. It took her a while to āget back out thereā and I wanted her to be happy so I encouraged it so much. She met this guy (Iāll call him A) and apparently she knew A from when she was younger. It was more of, A knew my mom but my mom didnāt know of A back then. I guess they had the same friend group. So they talked for a while then stopped, then started talking again. I encouraged it, I wanted her happy. But, one thing she promised me was she would be with a Christian (sorry if you donāt believe in God) and it really upset my family that he doesnāt believe. She also said she would take it slow. And she lied. Literally I met his 4 kids about a month later. My mom has 3 kids. So altogether thatās 7. She never wanted that many. We moved in to a new house and he tries to parent my little sister who is 10. He wasnāt trying to parent me up until recently. And, I am all for respecting adults. But, I donāt respect him. I talk back on purpose. I donāt care. I told him he means nothing to me. I literally hate him. He talks to my mom like she is a child. If she interrupts him, he gets mad and yells at her and tells her not to like sheās a kid or something. Theyāre also not clean people. Today, I was telling my mom how this house is gross. He got mad saying I should get up and do something then. But I do. I did the catbox today and swept the bathroom. Usually I sweep the kitchen and my sister helps me with loading + unloading the dishwasher. He wouldnāt stop going on and on. He always has to be right in arguments so I told him to shut up. Over and over til he actually did. Then he went in my room and literally said āgrab your stuff Iām taking it outā Bc apparently since Iām so disrespectful I need to learn respect and Iām only going to have a mattress thatās mine in the room. Thankfully, my mom stood up for that one. But he took all my stuff off my dresser and threw it on the floor. (Iāll put pictures) and he took out my tv that my dad bought for me. I just feel like my mom hates me. I told her how I think I got a 4.0 this semester (itās my first year of high school) and all she said was āoh. Thatās cool.ā She just doesnāt care. She thinks Iām going to get pregnant too. Iāve had a boyfriend for over 2 years and I admit I have had sex. But, he doesnāt pressure me and we are always safe. We use condoms and have it only before my period because i know Iām not ovulating then or close to it. I wanted to tell my mom when I first started having it so she could put me on birth control but I canāt talk to her about anything without her telling A. I get so upset and I envy all my friends because they have tight bonds with their moms. I wish I had that. I canāt even tell her I miss my dad because she gets mad. I just need someone to talk to. I want to join counseling or therapy but I donāt know how.
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