My husband leaves for boot camp in a month, so my mom and her boyfriend decide for Christmas they would like to take the whole family to Disney world instead of gifts for one last family vacation.

My mom spent weeks planning and trying to make this trip perfect (this is important for later) The first few days in Florida were amazing. Day one at Disney was fun, but one thing kept coming up that struck a nerve with me. My moms boyfriend kept trying to change everything she had planned (cancel/change fast passes that had been chose for weeks before the trip). It made everyone a grumpy but no one said a thing though.

The second and last day at Disney, the same thing starts immediately. As they were looking at what to change they asked what we’d prefer and I said something along the lines of we should just keep what we have and my husband agreed and added that if we cancel we might have to wait in a longer line or might not be able to get new fast passes for anything except some little shows. So they decide to change things anyways and at this point my mom is stressing out over this so I told her if it’s going to be easy to change then then that’s great and we should definitely look into what else we could use the fast pass for, but if it’s stressful then we shouldn’t worry about it because we saw how yesterday went and today just we just all need to have fun. She went and told her boyfriend what I said and he came up to my husband and I and said you pick what we do bc y’all have had a problem everything to which I explained that changing things constantly was stressing out my mother. At this point he’s mad and tells us that after this ride we’re splitting up and my two brothers would be coming with us. At this point I wasn’t going to argue so I got out my mom and her boyfriends fast pass cards and handed it to him. He aggressively grabbed at the card, yanking my hand with it. At this point my husband steps in saying “why did you do that, she hasn’t done anything to you” in a defensive voice and this sets the boyfriend off, he raises his voice and starts calling my husband a problem and proceeds to tell him to step out of line to fight. My husband and I walk away because we are not about to deal with that.

Later we meet up for lunch and none of us talk until my brother (who is 17) starts crying and telling my mom she should’ve stood up for me because she taught him to always respect woman and never put hands on woman. She responded with “ I can’t control other people”. My problem was not with my mom so my husband and I reassured her that we were grateful for everything, loved her, and had zero problems with her. She proceeds to walk over to her boyfriend and tell him my brother called her a bad mom so he’s raging but keeps his mouth shut. This makes me mad but since nothing was said I just kept my brother by me and just moved on.

We go to another ride. All of us. About an hour through the line my moms boyfriend just storms off. In the span of 15 minutes I ask her several times if she’s okay and each time I am totally ignored so I stopped. My brother starts talking to her and I guess after he left the line he was texting my mom hurtful messages. She started defending him. Saying he’s been around for 6 years and we should know better. Even though this was hurtful to me, I let it go and we all we able to move past it without her boyfriend there.

After the ride she wants to find her boyfriend so we could so somewhere else we all met up but kept our distance from each other. We get in the new line and he walking up behind my husband and pulled on his backpack so hard he almost fell and had to catch himself. After they were to the side the boyfriend got in my husbands face trying to intimidate my husband but when my husband wouldn’t back down, he decided to apologize to my husband only.

No one has really talked since and we are now on our way home, but now my husband wants nothing to do with my family (understandably). Even my dad and stepmom have tried screwing him over in his dads family business by trying to get free work. My mom, dad, and stepparents have been nothing but a nightmare on top of the stress of my husband trying to get ready to leave for basic training.

I don’t really have a question, more of just confusion. In the time we’ve been married, there has never been a problem with my mom or her boyfriend but all of a sudden there’s just not the respect there was anymore. I understand arguments will happen but this was more than just an argument. I don’t want to not have part of my family in my life and I really don’t want to have to choose. But my husband is my family first. He’s leaving in a little over a month and I’ll be with him where ever he goes in a little under a year so I don’t get why this is all coming right before he leaves. I’m hurt and really don’t want to be stuck anywhere even near my family at this point especially alone. My in laws have been nothing but welcoming while my parents have just pushed my husband away.