possible tw

Yesterday, I was hanging out with one of my close guy friends. Let’s call him “Ben.” Ben and I have been friends for years and he’s my neighbor. I was showing him a Twitter video on my phone yesterday, and I had to use the bathroom, so I just left my phone with him. I figured I trusted him and that he wouldn’t do anything. When I came back, Ben handed me my phone and it was on the home page. It was a little weird because there was no way that the video ended that fast, but I thought nothing of it.

Later, after Ben left, I randomly opened up my camera roll. For half a second, a blurred picture popped up, looking as if someone swiped out of my phone. I looked for the same photo, and it was one of my nudes that I put in the hidden section of my phone. I was shocked and wasn’t sure if that was a mistake. Although I wanted it to be a mistake, I had a feeling Ben went through my nudes. I called up my boyfriend and my best friend and told them about the situation. They said that I needed to confront him. I agreed but didn’t think I had any proof to show.

Today I went on my iPad and saw in my messages something disturbing. Ben sent himself my nude photo. He deleted the evidence from my phone, but thankfully, my iPad keeps all of my iMessages regardless if they have been deleted or not. I texted him the screenshot of the text and asked him what this was all about.

Here are photos of the messages

Since Ben is only a few houses away, we decided to meet up and talk about it. At first he was kinda denying it all but still taking full responsibility. Then I told him that I know what happened so he can’t lie about anything. He apologized many times, said that it was a slip in his judgement, and deleted the photo because he doesn’t want to get into any further trouble. Ben took full ownership of the situation, didn’t put any of the blame on me (which he shouldn’t because it’s not my fault), acknowledged that there is something wrong with him and said that he will get help. He also said he understands if I cut him off.

Something that I think I should mention is that Ben has autism. It’s not severe by any means, to the point that you wouldn’t even be able to tell. Because of this, I know that he does have a harder time with social cues, but this crossed the line and he even knew it. He didn’t blame his autism for it and neither am I.

I know this could become a serious legal issue. Since I am good friends with him though, I don’t want to mess up his future and I believe in second chances. Life is already difficult enough for him because he is a POC, he has autism, and he’s on his way to becoming a doctor. I told him I’m not going to get the police involved and I forgave him. He seemed to really beat himself up about this, and unlike other guys, he wasn’t a coward and took full blame.

Two years ago, Ben got in trouble at college for “following” a girl around, and she reported him because she felt like she was being stalked and that he made her uncomfortable. However, the school that they attend is small, they live in the same building, and they have the same major. Although Ben told me that he thought this particular girl was hot, he also claimed to not intentionally “follow” her and that it was a coincidence since they go to a small school and they’re bound to see each other, especially if they’re in the same classes. After this whole fiasco with me though, Ben admitted that this makes him seem less credible for the past situation. So honestly I don’t know.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to ruin his future because I do care about him. BUT this crossed a major line. I have experienced sexual assault and harassment so many times before, but this hurts so much. I’m 19 and idk if I should tell my parents or not. I feel so ashamed and disgusted. I know I might get criticized for being naive for letting a guy go on my phone or that I have nudes in the first place. But those weren’t meant for Ben. I don’t know if I should go to the police or not. Before, I felt like talking to Ben about this and just leaving it in the past was a good thing, but now it’s really weighing on me. This invasion of privacy is unacceptable.

If any of you have ever been through this, or have any advice or suggestions at all, I would greatly appreciate it. Just please no hateful comments. I’m already in enough pain as it is. I don’t want to hear any of it. Thank you.