Let me tell y'all....I feel so blessed to have gotten the man that I'm with right now. I'm gonna tell yall about how we got together, it may seen stupid to yall but I love it

Alright, so this guy, we'll call him J, and I have dated before. It was very brief and it was years ago. Well since then I've been engaged twice, had a miscarriage, and was just dragged through the mud relentlessly for a while. I got myself out of those situations, thankfully, with the help and support of my wonderful family.

Now I've always wanted these things in a man:

Honesty

Loyalty

Committment

Trust

^

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Those play into my story.

Anyway,

On the night of December 1st, 2019, he randomly reached out. Asked me to hang out. It struck me as odd at first because we hadn't talked in around 3 years or so. (I smoke weed. Hate me for it if you want) He brought some weed and we smoked and talked and I thought I had to have been talking his ear off, so I apologized. I'm not sure, even now, why he made me so nervous and giddy right off the bat. Then we hang out a few more times. A few more times of awkward silence mixed with random intense talks. Then on December 16th, 2019, he texts me and says "hey I got 2 blunts whenever you're ready" and that increased my, more clear at the time, feelings for him.

(Side note/back story)

My last long term boyfriend decided that he hated weed, my family, and just about everything I enjoyed so he took it all away from me. Weed helps me get through the day mentally and even sometimes physically, it is a part of my life that I enjoy. Helps me fall asleep. Puts me in a better mood. My family obviously plays a big role in my life too. He hated anything that I loved because if I loved anything besides him I suddenly "didn't love him anymore". It was a very abusive relationship

Ok back on track

So the night of December 16th, we end up sleeping together. Wasn't planned or talked about. Didn't even feel like it would happen. It just....did. But the way it happened was slow and soft. With anyone else, sex would feel like....well....sex...sometimes wild and animalistic. Other men look at me and touch me like I'm just a piece of meat. He looked at me with love and adoration, with care. He touched me slowly and asked for my permission to touch me before he even tried. He said "I really would like to touch you, if that's alright" I obliged. I love his energy, his vibe. I wasn't letting him touch me for sexual reasons, I wanted to see what he would do. He put his hand on my knee and just caressed my leg, he was watching my expressions intently. Looking for his boundaries. After a few minutes of just gazing and soft touches, he places his hand gently on the back of my neck, and leans closer while pulling me in. His lips dance with mine to a slow and steady tempo. He touches my shoulder, starts slowly moving down my arm and back up again. Places his hands on my waist and pulls me closer, in response I'm tugging him to me as well, feeling a fire burst in my core, I want this man. Not just sexually, but emotionally and mentally. Clothes are now being peeled off like we're suffocating underneath them. He climbs over and positions himself between my legs, kisses down my neck and chest. He swirls his tongue around my nipples and keeps working his way down. He comes back up and I am more than ready for him to feel the heat building, for him to feed the fire. And he does. He doesn't fuck me. He listens to my body. He's in tune with my psyche. He pulls out and finishes on my stomach, he then enters me again. His soft moans against my neck, making me reach my climax. We had sex 4 times that night. Started dating the next day. He makes me feel loved. We both fell fast. We already say we love each other and I know I'm head over heels for him. He has epilepsy. He has expressed to me that he is scared that his epilepsy will he too much for me to handle and that I'll leave. I've told him that that won't be happening. I woke up yesterday around 8:34 in the morning to him smacking, I wasn't sure what was going on. He was propped up on his elbows, smacking his lips and saliva was pouring from his mouth and he had the most blank stare. He was unresponsive when I called out to him. He was sweating so bad, I opened the window and started cleaning him off, then he comes to, he asks if there is a bathroom and if he can use it. I tell him yes. He's in there for about 20 mins so I start to worry. I call up to him and he answers so I wait for him to come down. He has no recollection of what happened. Then he has his second one. And then a third. When he came to on the last 2, he just kept telling me he loved me and that he is so glad I'm his girlfriend. He just hugs me and keeps apologizing, I keep telling him not to apologize because he has no control over it and that everything is and will be fine. The first time I gave him a back massage, he said that no one had ever done that for him before. I want nothing more than to give this man the whole universe. I want to make him feel loved and appreciated always. He's so sweet, he rubs my back and feet for no reason at all. He's kind, caring, generous, gentle, loyal, honest, hes so devoted and committed, absolutely wonderful. He fought me about making his sandwich last night. He didn't want me to feel like I had to do it, but I wanted to do it. He works hard, he deserves to have his food made, a clean home, peace and safe and comfortable environment, and some good head. Which he's gonna get later 🤤. He basically lives with me part time (his boss picks him up Monday-Friday at his grandma's house). He loves my family and they love him. He says that he feels comfortable and can he 100% the raw uncut version of himself with my family and myself. I've been on my period recently, and I had bad cramps, nausea, bloating....he asked me "do you want me to rub your tummy or your back baby?" and I would say "no that's alright baby thank you so much though" and he would do it anyway, knowing I'm hurting. He offered to let me take his jacket with me this morning, he is just so wonderful and perfect. I home from work one day and the first thing he did was kiss me and tell me he missed me all day. He's amazing