So, my boyfriend and I have had a bit of a rocky relationship from the start. We've been together 4 years and sometimes I wonder how we have lasted this long.

About 6 months into our relationship, I caught him talking to 2 other girls, I confronted him and he basically told me they were friends hes known forever and they are just really flirtatious towards each other, but would never do anything together. I, stupidly believed him and pretty much tried to forget about it.

A year later, we got pregnant. I ended up miscarrying early, and I know it took a toll on both of us. Not long after that happened, he left his phone on the counter while he was showering and I decided to have a look (I know, I'm terrible for snooping) and I found that he had made an account on Meet Me with a fake name and picture, and he had been messaging HUNDREDS of girls. I confronted him, his story was that his friend told him I was on the app, so he made a fake account to "try to find me" and he was just messaging those other girls because he felt like he has no friends. I felt bad, and chose to stay.

About 6 months after THAT, he left his smart watch in the bathroom after he left for work, I had heard it ding before he left so I checked it. He had conversations with a girl from "work" where she was saying stuff like "why you always taking me to a hotel? I want to see your house!" And thanking him for buying her lunch, and PAYING HER PHONE BILL. While I'm here taking care of his child (I am not the child's mother), cooking him dinner, struggling to pay Bill's, etc. I confronted him, and packed a bag and went to my parents for a few days. He called me crying saying he was dumb and never actually slept with her and she didnt know about me (I do believe that part).

I went back home because we decided to talk things over, he pretty much blamed it on my low sex drive and that I'm "crabby all the time", etc. I felt bad and decided to work on us again.

Now, I am starting to get suspicious again lately. I have no idea why but I do love him, and his son. His son calls me mom and I would feel awful for him if I left. Not really sure what the point of this post is, I guess I just needed to rant. This isnt even the half of what I've been thru with this guy, I know I should leave but it's easier said than done...anyways thank you for reading if you got this far!!