i cannot for the life of me change my lifestyle.

why is it SO hard to not buy sweets? or just change the way i eat? i hate myself for it. sometimes it’s so hard i think i have a eating disorder because i can’t physically stop. i eat so much i wanna throw up and i cry when i look i’m the mirror.

when i go to therapy and write out what i eat i lie on the papers. i’m a piece of shit. i’m a failure and i’m gross. i wanna change but i can’t.