My fiance and I have been together for nearly 4 years. We have a two year old and a newborn and he is an amazing dad. My fiance has a bit of a rocky past. Before we met he was dating a girl and she ended up pregnant. She found out she was pregnant after they has broken up. Shortly after they split, he ended up violating his terms of probation and had to go back to jail.

His ex visited him a few times while he was in jail and kept him informed about the baby. However, she was getting together with his best friend and things were a little messy. When he was released from jail, they met up a couple times so he could meet his son. But soon after neither one of them made much of an effort to keep in contact. By this point his ex was dating and engaged to his best friend, his son was growing up knowing this other man to be his father.

From my understanding, my fiance thought it was best not to confuse his son by popping up in the picture now and despite having negative feelings for his friend about everything that happened, he also knew that he could give his child a great life and he was a good role model. He truly felt that he wasnt in a good place to be a dad dealing with his record and probation and struggling to find a job. He eventually signed his rights away so his best friend could adopt him and give him a better life than he felt like he could provide.

A lot of people look at his situation and see him to be a dead beat. And to be honest I didnt understand at first and looked at the situation negatively. I didnt understand how you could just give up on your child. But after hearing him out, knowing the ins and outs, I understand why he did what he did and I kind of respect it. In a way I look at it as a parent who placed their child for adoption because they weren't able to provide for them or give them a life they deserved.

Years later now, we have a beautiful family and hes an incredible dad. He works 60 hours a week and provides for us and takes care of our boys.

Anyway, am I possibly just being blinded by love? Is he really a deadbeat or was his situation understandable and somewhat justified? Maybe I just have my rose colored glasses on but I understand why he chose to do what he did.