My child is fortunate enough to have 4 sets of grandparents (3 on my husbands side). One set, my husbands parents, have treated me differently since our child came on the scene. With all family on both sides, I have felt that we’ve shared the time together and enjoyed special moments, together. Together being a key thing. With my husbands parents, they are somewhat stand off-ish, inappropriately opinionated on a few parenting things sometimes and I get the impression they’d prefer I wasn’t around, but they have for the most part been cordial with me, if anything rude on a handful of occasions (father in law comes across as a bully on a few occasions which I mentioned on here months ago)..... there is a tension here that’s never been discussed because it’s difficult to pin point exactly what it is. Unless it’s as simple as their dislike towards me, which could explain it all.

It seems that if I have a story to share of my child and I am a part of that story, they have no interest in it. I get ignored or sidelined or talked over in conversations unless it’s a story or an involvement that my husband is a part of (their son). I do a lot with our daughter whilst my husband is at work so I struggle to understand why they have no interest, they’re missing out on knowing more about their grandchild’s development, likes and dislikes. Their disregard of me can be quite subtle at times, but when in the company of others in their family they are a lot more laid back with me. A trend has also developed on social media, pictures with me and our child get ignored, but pictures with my husband and our child get likes, comments, shares etc. I don’t share many pictures, so when I do it sticks out like a sore thumb. I think the latter might be a subconscious thing, but I don’t really know.... it’s just obvious to me.

Unfortunately, they have also shared their disapproval and judgement of some types of parenting styles and how their niece parents her son on occasion. It makes me feel uncomfortable with how they judge us, but more likely me and perhaps another reason why they treat me differently now.

They have also made a handful of bad assumptions. One being, assuming that they will take our child abroad in a couple of years, something I definitely wouldn’t feel comfortable with (1. I wouldn’t feel comfortable for our child to leave the country without us, 2. I would want us to share that experience with our child as a family). Again, we were never asked this, we were just told that is what they’re going to do.... I suspect that they talk about and mention a lot more to my husband that I am unaware of, I suspect purposely when I’m not around.

Whilst the above all seem quite trivial, added up it’s caused tensions between us. Along with my father in laws nasty comment of being called an incubator when I was pregnant, it’s becoming clear to me that I was and am just a means to an end to them ( getting their first, and so far only grandchild ) and I’m probably seen as the disliked daughter in law that is to blame for all of my child future faults and husbands decision making when things don’t suit them!