So when I was a child I was sexually abused by my fathers brother. The first time I remember him touching me was when I was 8 years old but deep down inside of me I think I was way younger than that when he first started touching me. And the only reason I believe this is because I was 5 years old when I started experiencing masturabtion I feel so ashamed for even saying it.

That moment it happened when I remembered it clearly at 8 years old I was talking to my sister who was 5 years old at the time but even though she was young she understood what I was asking her and she told me that he also touched her so at that moment I grabbed my sisters hand and we went to where my mom and dad was and told them what happened but they never believed us.

Fast forward a few years later when I was 13 my mom was having an affair with the man I told her molested me 😢 I never spoke about it again to her I kept that to myself. All those years living with her I saw many things she had many affairs with different men and all I did was feel sorry for my dad but the one I could never forgive was the affair she had with the man who molested her young daughters.

My mother put my life through hell when I was living with her she forced me to talk to an older man cause she wanted to marry me with him because “he had money and I would live a good life with him” he was 12 years older than me. And when I say forced she literally forced me she had the belt on one hand whipping me and the phone on the other cause he lived in another state so I had to talk to him by phone until he came to pick me up and for that reason I ran off with my now husband of 13 years.

This story is not even half of everything I went through with my mother it would be a book if wrote everything but I need some advice because I just can’t seem to let go of the past and my sister and brother call me childish for not letting it go. My own sister who got molested as well by that same man is asking me to let it go and forgive mom. She says I need a therapist because our mom is old already and we have to forgive her. But that’s not the problem the problem is I need my mother to sit down and talk to me once in her life to talk to me and ask me how I felt or why she had an affair with that man after he did that to us. That’s the only therapy I need for me to move on I need her to talk to me. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Am I wrong for feeling this resentment towards my mom? I love her I do I just can’t let go of what she did