Not ok

I had an MC back in October. Being pregnant (as I was ttc#1) was a shock and surprise. I MCd around 5 weeks. I grieved about a week and tried to move on. My period was messed up until this month. I’ve been good though. Reading Glow and stuff has made me feel “fine” and not sad. I keep hearing about family and friends getting pregnant. Keep hearing miscarriages in tv shows and movies and I swear I never did before. But today—/I lost it. I broke down over some stupid argument with my hubby and I admitted I was scared to get pregnant again because I was worried about another MC. I don’t wanna travel for work because when I miscarried, I was on a work trip and so alone. It easy horrible. I guess I’m not fine.