Hard day

So today I went to my best friend daughters first birthday party and it was the cutest happiest thing every.

But I’m not going to lie, what I’m going to say sounds selfish to me but I felt so sad and kinda left out the hole times. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but mine.

I found out I was pregnant back in October and 5 weeks in I had an ectopic pregnancy and lost the baby. It was probably the hardest thing I’ve been threw. I just want to get pregnant again and have a baby so bad.

I was so happy to see her daughter running around playing with the other kids. But it took everything in me not to cry ( and I did not cry ). Yes I am jealous and sad at the same time.