When I was 14, I met this guy who was 19 and made me believe he loved me. He made me believe so many things and manipulated me into doing awful things. One of the things he manipulated into me doing was sending him nudes. I was afraid of him during the time I was with him and he said he would leave me if I didn’t. So I did. I finally left the relationship after almost 2 years and tried to commit suicide from remembering what he made me do when I was just a child. I’ve been haunted by this for so many years and continue to have panic attacks and anxiety. I’m almost 21 and just recently had a panic attack remembering it. Nothings appeared, thank god, considering I told him that my parents found out about us and I think it scared him into deleting them, at least that’s what I tell myself.

Anyway, I still hate myself for it and I’m disgusted every time I look at myself in the mirror and I’m in constant fear.

I tell myself that it’s okay and that I was a child who was manipulated and forced into doing it because I was.

Does anyone have any advice or comforting words?