I can’t believe she’s here

I had a planned c-section on December 31,2019. I was diagnosed with anterior placenta previa at around 18weeks and later in the pregnancy was diagnosed with IUGR.

We arrived at the hospital at 1030 to get prepped for surgery at 1230, the hospital was behind and had several emergency c sections that got in the way of my scheduled time. So we waited for several hours. Which sucked because I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink. I finally got called back to get prepped and they had issues inserting my IVs, they finally got them in, got me shaved, cleaned and ready. My family was allowed back to say good luck and my husband and I were off to the OR. They made him wait in the hallway while I got my spinal which I was terrified of. But I got through it and got on the table. The spinal was such a weird sensation. They let my husband back in the room and started the procedure. My OB was my surgeon and he told me because I was such a bleed risk his goal was to move as fast as possible since he had to cut through my placenta. It all went really quickly, I felt my whole body move, had a crazy amount of pressure in my chest and she was born! I heard her cry and my husband went to be with her. They dried her off and brought her to me and put her on my chest so I could hold her. She was absolutely perfect. I got sewn up, given a few injections and was wheeled into recovery with my baby. Things went well in my recovery room, I was able to have some water and sprite and had my family come meet her. 2 hours passed and they wheeled me down to mom and baby. I started to feel very hot on the way down to my room. When we got there I had to change beds. I kept saying how hot it was, and started to feel nauseous, then very dizzy. All of a sudden my blood pressure tanked to 40/35 and my pulse hit 150. Whenever they came in to do the uterine massage I wasn’t bleeding when they pushed and was passing very large clots intermittently. I had 10 nurses and the on call doc in my room within a minute, they were drawing blood, trying to take blood from the arteries in my wrists and I had a nurse on the bed violently pushing on my abdomen all at the same time. I faded out so far I thought I was going to die. The nurses finally got me stable, and afterward I got a blood transfusion. I finally was able to hold my baby again. I stayed in the hospital for 4 days, while my BP and pulse continued to act weird(both high) and recovery was super hard since I had been poked so many times and rubbed so violently, my entire abdomen was a giant bruise and hurt to be touched at all. I’m 12 days out now, at home trying to feel better. Things are getting easier slowly, but I still cry when I think about what happened. I feel traumatized about it all. But at the same time I’m so amazed at my prefect sweet baby, and I would do it all again for her in a heartbeat.