I thought I’d start with I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, we have NEVER had a problem with jealousy or anyone “getting in the middle” of our relationship, literally ever. He has never made me feel uneasy for any reason ever.

Anyways, about two years ago a girl started at his work, he works with almost all males in a prison. She literally got transferred for being... promiscuous. My husband has a friend at work who was married to a girl I really liked and we had a group we all used to hang out and be friends. Shortly after this “new girl” showed up at work my friend started crying to me that she thought her husband was cheating. He was, with the new girl. He left my friend and their kids to be with this new girl. It put a huge wrench in our friend circle, I stopped trusting EVERYONE in it because no one told his wife who they were all friends with. Just let it happen, they’d be hanging out and no one would tell.

Anyways, when it first started my husband was so against it. She was obviously a home wrecking whore. He’d refer to her by her last name (they all do at their job), he never even talked about her at all actually. He’d agree with me and laugh when I talked shit about her and totally understood why and the fact that I would NEVER like this new girl chick. And he made sure to stay completely clear of her, always.

Until about a month ago. (Mind you she is still with my friends husband. He moved into her house and everything.) She started coming up in all his work stories. He referred to her by her first name. I tried to talk trash about her and he yelled at me to “stop talking about her like that, I’m sick of hearing it! just get over it already”. I made it CLEAR I was not okay with whatever relationship they’re starting to have. And that was the end of that. But then i noticed he started following her on social media, he literally doesn’t follow ANY of his other friends wives/gfs. A couple weeks go by and he goes to a sports thing with his coworker friends, she went. I was sick, I’m 20 weeks pregnant, and couldn’t go.

They drank the whole event and went out drinking until the bars closed after. I knew in my gut something was wrong. The next day i got in his car and his underwear were in the passenger seat. He SWORE it was from when we stayed at his moms, which i guess it could have been but still.. A couple days later he slipped up and told me a story admitting he was mostly hanging out and talking to her, I flipped out. I didn’t hear about her again until yesterday. He was casually talking about how he has to work a trade for this guy oh and “*new girl* asked me to work for her too and I said yes.” Their job is super formal so you don’t just ask people you have to send out a mass email and get responses. I said She couldn’t have asked her bf or ANYONE else?? He’s like idk we were talking and she asked and i said yes. I got so mad and flipped out a little. He just called me drama and psycho.

So I did something I’ve NEVER done. And went through his phone today. Sure enough, he has her number saved and they text. They talked about being “partners” for something at work and they make weird jokes to each other.. I didn’t find anything sexual.

I screen shot the messages and sent them to myself and threw the phone at him(he was sleeping he works nights and woke up when i threw the phone) like 10 minutes later he realized what I saw and rushed in and tried talking to me I didn’t care what he had to say and didn’t want the kids to hear so I locked myself in the bathroom. He texted me I was drama, drama, drama... he’s not cheating.. I’m making separation and awkwardness between his friends... everyone else really likes her.. telling me to grow the fuck up.. calling me “high school”

I told him to stop fucking texting me and he just went back to sleep.

When he woke up he left to get food and texted me he loved me and I’m perfect and he’s not doing anything shady blah blah blah. I just went to bed and didn’t write back.

Nothing like this has ever happened with us. Im 20 weeks pregnant with our third kid and we’re about to close on our first house that is almost done being built while we live with my parents, which is not going the best. Im beyond stressed over everything.

Am I over reacting? I’ve just been crying.. when my daughters preoccupied. I honestly don’t even know what to do....