HE FEELS GUILTY ABOUT SEX.

My boyfriend used to be really religious, he grew up Pentecostal but now he has parted ways with his church and does not live like that anymore. He was a virgin when we met, I wasn’t, and we decided to have sex because he said he wanted to. After the first time he got weird and started saying that he felt guilty because he knew he’s going to hell for having sex since sex is meant for marriage and we’re not married. This made me feel very dirty and ashamed and like it’s my fault that he feels like that. A month after that we did it again because he was being really pushy and I just wanted to see him happy but the same thing happened, like a week later he started saying that living “like this” is wearing him off and it makes him feel bad about himself. I once again felt extremely bad because he kept making remarks about how his family would be really disappointed in him if they knew and how they wouldn’t like me because of it, he also threw his sister in my face, he thinks very highly of his sister because she’s my age (20) and waited until marriage to have sex (she was 19 when she got married). After a few days of that he started being very sexual again, he would push and push until I agreed to touch him or give him a blowjob and then the cycle would start again. I felt so dirty because it felt like he was ashamed of me so I told him that we should stop having sex and he agreed, we went back to no sexual contact and during our talk he said the next time we’re having sex is on our wedding night (no we’re not engaged) and that one of us is going to have to say no if the other one wants to have sex, I told him I will definitely say no. It’s been around two months since we had sex the last time and he’s being all sexual again, trying to touch my ass and rubbing his dick against my ass when I’m walking or just when he goes in for a hug and today we were talking on the phone and he finally asked if we could have sex again, I said no. He asked why and I had to remind him of our conversation and he claims he doesn’t remember said conversation, after I told him everything we talked about he said “okay, I won’t beg” and we went back to our normal conversation just to have him ask me again for sex like not even two minutes later. How do you deal with something like that? He’s saying that he changed and he won’t feel guilty anymore if we have sex but I’m not too sure, I know he hasn’t changed. It’s not that I don’t enjoy sex, it’s just that I don’t enjoy someone making me feel dirty and ashamed over something as natural as sex and I know it’ll happen again. What should I do? Is it bad that I’m willing to give in and please him even though it will cost me my peace of mind?

Have any of you been through a similar situation?