Let's first say this because I feel people will comment I'm just "young", but 30 is very very very close for me lmao.

I've been married and I've been in long wonderful relationships. But in the end, I've never felt romantic love. Sometimes I get really discouraged. I'm polyamorous and I feel I often get pushed to the bottom of the barrel because of my lack of romantic love. However I'm still a giving and thoughtful partner. It feels isolating? But never lonely because I have wonderful friends who I love all the same.

Recently I told my now ex girlfriend that her constant and magnitude of romanticism made me so uncomfortable because we had only been dating a few months and it felt, forced? This is the first partner I've told that I don't feel romantic love.

Anywho, she called me a fuck boy and said I was "impossible". But I had only known her less than 4 months. I've been with my boyfriend for 12 years and have never told him I love him.

Unfortunately, this has soured my view on having any relationship because of huge lack of boundaries even though I'm very clear about mine and I'm very communicative.

I'm a transman so it's hard to find relationships anyway because of the United States political climate around transgender people.

It's not that I don't want a relationship, it's that I want to be loved for me and be enough for the good I can offer!

Tldr; my confession and secret is that I've never been in love, and no I'm not young.