Scared to test

Well I’ve been scared to retest, AF is due the 19th or 20th this month. I took a clear blue two days ago and got a negative 😭. I’ve had spotting for at least 3 days and it’s light pink and brown with a random twinge in my uterus 😂. I’m scared to test as I’ve had 4 miscarriages in the past and this month me and hubby have just been “winging it” so to say lol what should I do ladies?