I’m 22 years old. And live in Oregon. Before I found out I was pregnant. 3 months prior (Aug. 2017) the father of the baby and I were in an accident (due to drinking and driving) he was the driver. Terrible mistake I know. Anyways He went through court and everything, but was not sent to jail yet. After the accident I started to see things clearer and realized I had been drinking to much so I stopped. And realized he was an alcoholic. In Nov. 2017 I found out I was pregnant. When I told him he wanted me to abort the baby. After speaking to my parents about it. I decided I wanted to keep the baby. It took him and his family 2 months to come to realize I was really keeping the baby. In Dec. I broke up with him due to him cheating and his alcohol issue getting worse I didn’t want myself or the baby to be apart of it. In Feb 2018 he went to jail for the car accident. His mom stayed in contact with me and made sure the baby and myself were okay. In July 2018 I had my baby. She changed my life and made me a better person. The father got out of jail in Aug. 2018. After he got out he started seeing our child a1-2 times a week. As time went by and she was 4months only they changed it and started seeing her once every other week. With no contact until setting up a day and time to see our daughter My daughter is now 18months old and he has only seen her maybe 40-50 times since she was born. Anytime he visits to see her he only visits for a maximum of 1 hour. I allow him to choose the days and times he sees her. He chooses when to leave. Its been that way since day 1. Since Sept. 2019 he has only seen her 4 times. Twice being in Oct., 1 time in Nov. and 1 time on Dec. 13. Since then he didn’t contact me until Dec. 31. He never messaged or called about Christmas or when to see her next. On Dec. 31 he messaged about having a gift for her and scheduling to come see her the next day to bring her the gift. (Jan. 1, 2020.) he never showed up on that day. (No calls, no messages,) nothing. I still have yet to hear from him. On Jan. 10th his mom messaged me and said she was dropping my daughters gift off. I was home but working. (Stay at home mom I babysit for work) She didn’t come knock on the door or anything she set the gift outside the front door and then left. And I still have not heard from the father or his family since that day. I know every child needs both parents. But my daughter still does not know who he is or his family. When they come over to see her so she hides by me or goes and plays. My question is when would you stop the visitations before it affects the child? I’ve been by my daughters side since day one. There is no custody battle. He just got paternity in Sept. 2019. As his name was never on her birth certificate until the paternity was established. I have taken care of her since day 1 & shes been in my care since she was born. I’m at lost on what to do. I don’t want to let him keep coming and going as he pleases so then he thinks its okay.