What am I doing?

What am I doing? I’m still lost as a person. Is this what all moms feel? Loss of self? Some days I go through the motions and feel like I have no idea what I am doing raising a baby. Am I teaching her everything I can? Am I nourishing her like I should? Am I doing her a disservice because I can’t get her to nap in her bed?

I sit on the floor with my baby and watch her play and it’s the most amazing thing, I love her so much and feel so blessed to be home with her. I’m grieving that she is growing up. The first 9 months of her life feel like a different life. You get into a routine and then have to change it all because she is growing and developing. I can’t believe breastfeeding all day will end and I never knew I would feel this sad since the journey has been so rough. I feel so alone and get irritable with my husband because I try to tell him what help I need but it’s still all on me. I’m her main caregiver basically. I’m sure most moms feel that way. I accept it but it’s still rough some days.

I guess I’m just venting. Maybe winter blues are making me feel worse? I can’t wait for the days when we can get out of the house more.

Anyway, that’s all. ❤️