I just need to vent...

I know it's long, but I could really use some advice, support, acknowledgement something. I don't really know what I expect or need from you.

I have been babysitting these two kids for 7 years. Over the last few years, they have gotten pretty bad. Disrespectful, anger issues, don't listen, entitled, electronic addicted (to a completely beyond unhealthy level). To be honest, they are just awful. Of course I never tell them this, but the parents agree. They are over it too, but they don't do anything to change this behavior. They just give in and feed the poor habits. Here lately, I have considered quitting. I really should. Not only do I have to deal with the kids' behavior, but the parents hardly ever pay me on time, and when they do, it's hardly ever the full amount. So I always have this running total with them. I just can't bring myself to do it.

Then tonight. Their dad leaves for work and tells me and the kids that they are grounded from all electronics and they need to get their chores done (that's another thing. They have daily chores, but the parents hardly ever make them do them. They usually just wait for me to get here, so I have to make the kids do their chores. Of course it never goes well because they don't listen). So anyways, he leaves and the kids eat, then go upstairs. I hear them watching videos and holler up the stairs reminding them they should not be on electronics and they need to get the chores done. They say okay, but never come down. After a while, I go up there, make them hand over all electronics. And tell them they need to come get their stuff done. One of them comes down, picks up 2 things, switches out the laundry, then goes back upstairs.

Then about 15 minutes ago, 30 minutes before bedtime, the one that came down went to the top of the stairs and asked me if I would read him a story before bed. He's at that age where a lot of kids would no longer ask that, so I wanted to say yes, because it was kind of sweet, but had to say no. I told him their stuff isn't even done yet. He tells me that his brother is already asleep. So after I went and took electronics, he just went to bed. I asked him, you haven't listened to me or your dad all night, why should i do something nice for you? He said I don't know. I was like, you can't be disrespectful and not listen, then expect something in return, that's not how things work. Then he's like, so will you read me a story? I swear, not a single thing I say to these kids gets through to them. This is how every conversation with them goes. I'll be talking to them and they don't listen. Sometimes they start to walk away, not with an attitude or anything, just as if I wasn't even talking.

I don't know. I'm just so frustrated with this job, it stresses me out, and I no longer enjoy it. It's having a negative affect on my overall mood, like all the time. Not just when I'm here. I know I need to quit. I really do. I just am not in a place to get another job, so I kind of need the money from this one....whenever I actually get it. I also feel like I have been here for so long that I can't quit (even though I know this is a stupid excuse and I know I can).

Okay, as I finish this up I hear one of them watching a video. I guess they did not hand over all the electronics. I mean come on, if I was going to try to be sneaky like that, I would at least put headphones on 🤦‍♀️

***oh, and I forgot to mention, I only get paid like a third of what a babysitter should be making per hour. When I first started watching the kids, I was in high school and didn't have many expenses, so this amount worked for me. I was also watching them way more than I am now. Now I'm in my mid 20s and trying to have a baby of my own. I'm already not getting paid on time or the correct amount, so asking for a raise doesn't seem possible.