My longtime crush

In 9th I liked this boy in my biology class. We texted everyday after school until we fell asleep or into the early morning, and in the morning while we were getting ready for school. according to my friends, we flirted all the time in class and while we talked in the hallways. Going into the 10th grade we we’re still talking like this. Ofc I hadn’t confessed to him during all this time. Every time i got the courage I bailed out forming some doubts that he didn’t like me romantically only as a friend. He got a girlfriend half way into our 10th grade year. I was absolutely heartbroken. When I found out I locked myself in the bathroom and cried in the shower with the lights off for 2hours, and I did this several more time in the course of 4 months, Went to school crying the next morning and continued to cry for the next 2 weeks and sad about it for 4 months. I was in love with this boy and I was sure that he felt the same way but I guess I was wrong. I cut all ties with him, I stop walking with him after class, stop texting him and talking to him completely. I told myself this was the best way to get over him. 6 months later I started dating someone. And we broke up 6 later but I wasn’t as sad about this break up as I was about the first guy, I was definitely sad I cried for the night and the was it. I was somewhat fine after about a month or so. Ngl there were still time to times where I still thought about the first boy. Laughing and joking with him again. Talking to him. I missed him terribly. So I decided after a year of not talk to him that I would rekindle our friendship and that’s all it would be. So last Friday( now in the 11th grade) I talked to him in the lunch line. The moment I started talking to him again I felt the little butterflies in my stomach. Then tingling feeling though out my body. Loving the sound of his voice and seeing him smile. I really did miss him and I also knew I was going to fall right back in love with him. We talked the whole time in the lunch line. And then after school that day we started texting on Snapchat. I had decided to confess to him that I like him in the 9th and 10th grade and he confessed he liked me to. He had moved on because he was convinced that I didnt like him cause I hadn’t confessed during those 2 years. We’re on 3 day weekend cause of MLK day and we’ve been talking THE WHOLE TIME like no break except for sleep, church and him going to basketball practice. I said he had missed me. This time I decided I would be blunt with my feelings and not hide it, I’ve been flirting with him and he’s been flirting back. I’m SOOO happy to have him back it’s unbelievable. I get these moment where I just smile at my phone and then squeal in happiness. Do you think he still like me??

“My letter to you” was sort of a diary thing i wrote in my notes filled with letters addressed to him saying things I didn’t have the courage to tell him person When I found out he didn’t like me I wrote this to get all my emotions out. It’s a little depressing.

EDIT*

Ok now we have a problem lol. Since we’ve started talking again we don’t talk in person now, things are kind of awkward. I would go up and talk to him but he’s sort of “popular” ( he’s on the basketball team) so he’s always surrounded by people and I don’t want to interrupt or embarrass myself or him. Especially when he’s around guys, it makes me more nervous to go up to him. He’s very sweet and I know he wouldn’t mind but everytime I gather up the courage it all disappears and is replaced with butterflies and tingles from seeing him, gosh he’s so handsome😁. Already knowing I’m going to make a fool out of myself I get all nervous and end up bailing out. We could text for hours and never say a word to each other during school 😭😭😭😭. I don’t know why I came on here. I know what I should do. I should just talk to him. I know he likes me but the butterflies and tingles from knowing I’m about to hear his voice and see his smile. My heart literally races from seeing him across the room, so forget about up close. I’m never going to be able to talk to him at this point. I need him alone, just the two of us so I can work up the courage to say something to him.