Today would have been my sons 3rd birthday.

He was taken from me way too soon, and parts of me blame myself! He shouldn’t be gone, he should be here thriving, getting excited for his little sister, talking so much, doing all sorts of big boy things, but he’s not. He’s in heaven watching over me and sissy. People say they are here in spirit but I don’t want that, I want him here physically. I want to touch and hold and kiss him and never let go!

I want to hear his voice, and kiss his feet, and hold his hand! 😔 I want him to feel his sister move in my tummy and be weirded out or not even care about it. I just want him back!

Everything happened the 24th Of November, 2018!

I lost him December 2nd, 2018 he was only 22 months old.

This is the second birthday celebrated with out him. It shouldn’t be this way! Nothing makes since without him. I feel like I’m forgetting his touch, his smell, his voice, and all I have to remember him by his photos and videos, and that’s not enough😔

I miss you more and more every day. I love you more than anything and everything Zander James💙