I am 21 weeks pregnant with my first son. 21 weeks ago, I was having sex with *mainly* two guys, don't judge me. One was my boyfriend of 2 years the other a guy an ex friend of mine hooked me up with. When I found out I was pregnant I figured it was the other guy since he was busting in me repeatedly despite the fact I told him I was not on bc at least twice. I took a plan b the first time but I wasn't about to go spend 50$ Everytime the shit head decide to bust in me. I realize I was an idiot to continue to f with him, I mean u can't blame a clown for acting like one. So I told him I was pregnant with his baby and he seemed to be on board at first. But I had told my bf that I was pregnant as well and then he started trying to convince me it was his. I knew it wasn't, but I started to want it to be since I've been with him a long time and he already has two daughters and he loves me deeply whereas the other guy wouldn't care if I dropped dead in front of him. Anyway homeboy starts pestering me if I'm sure it's his baby so eventually I tell him I'm 99% sure. So basically he takes that 1% and runs with it and basically ghosts me. I paid 1700$ to get a prenatal paternity test using my bf dna and what do u know turns out not the father. I was devestated bc I hoped it was his baby since he was sticking by me despite not being sure who's baby it was where the other guy just dipped. Bf was devestated as well. After a couple days I contacted the father and told him so he says ok he'll be there. A week later I try to call him and he's had his phone cut off. Great timing. He has made himself completely scarce and unavailable to me, he simply does not give a fuck about me but tells me he wants to be a part of my son's life. He turned away from me and abandoned me when he knew it was his baby, he was busting in me repeatedly and laughing about it and telling his buddies he got someone pregnant before I even knew. The worst part is I still hold a torch for him, idk why? Because im so angry and hurt? I'm obsessive? I'm sexually attracted to him?, my hormones? bc he's the father of my baby?? On top of that my bf wants me STILL and wants to move in with me and help me raise ANOTHER DUDES BABY! I mean how am I holding onto feelings for a total asshole when a total gentleman is willingly offering himself to me out of love, and it's like I don't even know how I feel about him anymore...sorry for the long ass post, any thoughts?