Husband had an affair last year (Met girls on tinder and dated one for a few weeks, having oral sex with her -he and she both did to each other).

Decided to work on marriage and stay together because we have two young children and at the time of the affair second child was two months old. But mostly like he “dated” girls the end of that pregnancy into the child being born.

Husband did not tell me about it. The girl found me on Facebook and messaged me to tell me. It was devastating and caused me and us to re-evaluate our marriage and I will admit things were wrong on both ends. Although that does not excuse anything.

Husband has a business that is small and growing. Needs to hire someone for the office work. Will work closely with him. She is younger than us (early 20s we are mid 30s) and very pretty. Apparently she is the best candidate by far. Husband wants to hire her but wants to be respectful of me. I do believe that she is the best candidate. Says he could move on and repost the ad. Says he doesn’t want me to be upset or stressed that our marriage is more important. But did admit she could be tempting but then said anything in life could be tempting. He was trying to be honest with me about it when I said what if she liked him and flirted, etc. Said I can make the final decision.

Why do I feel bad saying no way? I do believe this person is probably great and deserves a chance but I also know that the thought of her being there and working closely with him makes me feel anxious and stressed.

I’m stuck on what to do. Because I am not stupid. I realize he could easily enter another affair if he was seeking one out.

Do I say yes and throw trust his way and realize that if he is going to have an affair it’s inevitable anyways? I don’t want to be in a marriage where the person behaves because they are isolated from opportunities I want to be with someone who chooses to be faithful and just is.

Looking for advice, either way. This is not really a post trying to have people bash my husband and say once a cheater always a cheater. This is more a post asking to see if has anyone been in the situation? Trying to make a marriage work after an affair? Did you go through this in your marriage? Just to give some reference it’s been 7 months since the affair, about 6 since I found out. We have been together for about 11 years, married for over 6.

Thank you