I knew this title would catch eyes.

I had my first son and was very unhealthy after my pregnancy. He had to be delivered at 33 weeks after me being in the hospital for a full month before that. I had severe preeclampsia and still had it after having him.

I fell pregnant again when he was 4 months old and the doctors told me I was extremely unhealthy, already had signs of preeclampsia still and that if I did carry the baby I’d have to have her/him so early to prevent seizures and the extremely high blood pressure that I already still had.

The complications I would have had from that pregnancy would have put mine and that babies life’s at risk so I decided to terminate due to the fact that I had to make sure I was okay for my son I had just had.

Now after that I had 5 miscarriages and then just a week and a half ago had a healthy baby girl 💜

I wanted that baby more than anything in the world as I always wanted 2 children. I think about that child every single day and cry all the time for what I had to do.

My question is, is it okay to call my termination an angel baby even though I terminated?...

I usually don’t but sometimes I feel like I should. I still remember seeing her/him in the sac when it came out. All the perfect little fingers and toes. I was 9 weeks when I passed the baby, I found out I was pregnant at 7 weeks. I’ll never forget the way I felt.

Thanks for taking your time to read this I’ve never asked anyone about this or talked about the way I’ve felt with anyone yet.