So my husband and I have been together for almost 5 years. We just recently got married in August of 2019, but I have known him and his family since I was 10 years old.

We are expecting our first baby (Isaiah) in February. I’m trying to go back to school this semester to finish off my associates degree and will need to take at least one class on campus for probably an hour. I told him that I’m sure my aunt wouldn’t mind watching him for an hour she has two little twin boys. He immediately said “Well why can’t my mom watch him?” And I explained to him very honestly that I really don’t like the way his mom watches any of her grandkids. We go over there a lot and I sit back and watch a lot. I told him that the way that she “cares” for her grandkids is not something I’m comfortable with and it is different than how I would care for my child ( I was an infant teacher at a daycare for 2 years) and that I’d be worried the whole time I was gone if she were watching him. He snapped back at me saying that if she couldn’t watch our son, then no one could watch him and that it’s not fair and walked off. I was really taken aback.

If you’re trying to understand why I might be uncomfortable leaving my child with her, she’s an alcoholic..drinks every night and will seriously ask what time it is every day so she can start. When we go over there and her grandkids are there, she’s off doing her own thing and leaves them with the older kids and has them keep an eye on the younger ones. My niece who was recently just born was dropped off at her house while we were visiting and I ended up having to care for her the whole time (which I’m not too mad I love my niece) but she wasn’t around at all. I also feel like she’s a little rough with the smaller babies (my SO’s cousin visits often she’s six months) like the way she rocks and pats them is too much and too rough. And these babies are stuck in a bouncer all of the time. They are out in there to sleep too.

I have my reasons with being cautious and uncomfortable..I also understand how this can seem unfair to him. I’m not saying his mother would never see our son, but it’d make me more comfortable to be there to supervise. I just don’t want to make this a big argument. I don’t know how to make the situation better or what to say. I was truthful with him but don’t know how to go from here. Any advice?